SCOOBY DOO AND MYSLEF

We all loved cartoons at some point of our lives. Some of us in our late teens still like cartoons, whether we like to admit it or not. But our perception of some cartoons change as we grow older. My favorite cartoon when I was young (I’m 19 now, so “when I was young” would be 10) was Scooby Doo. It took me a lot of courage to admit that so I would like you to applaud me by clapping at your computer for a minute now.
Before critically examining a rather flawed cartoon i shall dwell over the reasons why i even liked Scooby in the first place.

First and foremost, he’s a dog. Most kids like dogs, especially ones that can speak the occasional word here and there, regardless of how poorly they pronounce it. Example - Relpppp me Raggyyyy! (help me Shaggy)

Secondly I had fun guessing who the villain would actually be beneath the ghost disguise. Because after 567 episodes, even as a 10 year old, I had given up on the hope that Scooby would eventually face a real ghost. (Note - I was rarely right at guessing the bad guy. Now to stare at the floor in shame for two minutes….).
Thirdly, Daphne was hot. Yes even at 10, she was hot.

Now I was an ardent Scooby watcher but then one day things changed. It was all very sudden to me. I dont think I was ready for it but I just wasnt enjoying scooby anymore. He wasnt Scooby anymore…he was just…scooby. It was just not the same. Or to put it correctly, it was me who was not the same.

I started to question why my attitude towards one of my most beloved passtimes changed so drastically. The simple conclusion was - I was growing up. It’s strange that i chart my first steps of maturation based on a cartoon but its true.

Now i began to question every move of the gang. I began to question their detective prowess. It was their job afterall. I mean seriously….why would Fred (the “leader”, who i never could stand, for he often hit on Daphne) always send the dog with the hungry scared skinny guy(Shaggy) to uncover clues? Isn’t that a recipe for disaster? Not only do they have a combined IQ of 2 (scooby contributing 1.5), but they could eat each other up at any moment taking into account their massive appetites and the fact that dogs have poor eyesight.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Southpark makes a gruesome Scooby Doo parody where scooby actually eats up Shaggy because he thought he was a taco or sandwich, followed by Fred saying “bad dog…badddd dog…okay now gang, lets split up….ha ha ha ha ha [they all laugh here because shaggy has been brutally "split up" into pieces by scooby]. Okay but seriously guys, lets split up….ha ha ha ha ha….Velma you go with scooby into the dark, dangerous, possibly toxic dungeon, while Daphne and I will look for clues at the five star hotel room of the suspect and maybe make out a bit”.

Whenever Fred did send the smart geeky one(Velma) with scooby and Shaggy, she’d inevitably have to lose her glasses, rendering her as useless as the other two.

Another reason I stopped enjoying the show was because all the plans to capture the “ghosts” involved Shaggy and scooby as bait. And who makes the plans….yup, its our man Fred again. Wouldnt Daphne be better bait? I’m sure the male “ghosts” would be easily lured by a hot girl in a tiny purple outfit as compared to a large rather unattractive dog (sorry scooby) and a guy named “Shaggy”. Atleast she would have something else to do other than just jump into Freds arms….

I could sit and point out around 250 more flaws but for your sake and mine I wont, because the biggest flaw in this entire analysis is me. Us. As we grow up we keep finding faults in everything. It’s so hard for us to be satisfied with what we have. Okay this was an extreme example (drawing a parallel between Scooby and “life” was fun though) but seriously….there was a time when i could have fun for days, maybe weeks, just with a colour book and crayons. Now Ive been provided with television, internet, cds, alcohol, sports etc for entertainment and I still complain about being bored. WE complain about being bored. So the next time you whine about being bored, just try remembering the time you sat and coloured mountains all day, or watched cartoons, or played with dolls or did whatever little thing that kept you happy and entertained.

Or you could always critically analyze The Flinstones.

PRODUCTS OF PROCASTINATION

1) If the saying “Slow and steady wins the race” were really true, Indians would be the best athletes in the world.

2) Whenever I find something in my hair, it’s never followed by a positive reaction. It’s never been “Woahh there’s a diamond in my hair! Sweet!”.

It’s always “Shit! What’s this piece of burnt wood doing in my hair?” or “Fuck! When did that crow shit on me?”

3) People keep talking about men and women being equal. Maybe they are. However society will never view certain things in the same vein for both sexes, whether we like it or not. For example:

Pillow fight between two women in their underwear = Awesome.
Pillow fight between two men in their underwear = Gay.
Pillow fight between a man and a woman in their underwear = Weird.

Boy having many girlfriends = Looked up to.
Girl having many boyfriends = Looked down upon.
Girl having many girlfriends = Legendary.
Boy having many boyfriends = Injured.

Female seductively sucking on lollypop = Hot.
Male seductively sucking on lollypop = Uncomfortable.
Lollypop seductively sucking on lollypop = One too many drops of LSD.

4) I went to a psychic. The first thing she told me was that I would be wasting my money on something ridiculous and unnecessary in an hour’s time. I thought, “Wow…that’s quite specific. She must be really good.”

Then I saw a board above her. It said “Session Duration - One hour. Price - Rs 500″.

5) When people wish you Happy Birthday, they generally add “Have a great day”. That’s a strange thing to say. It’s almost like a nice way of saying “Have a great day today, but I don’t really give a shit about how the other 364 days go for you”.

6) I think Dino Morea’s parents were initially hoping for a dinosaur when he was conceived.

7) Yogi Bear is to bears, what George Bush is to Americans — An embarrassment.

I wonder whether God made all the enjoyable things in life bad, or whether humans made all the bad things in life enjoyable.

9) I like the Nintendo Wii. Because when you stress on the name of the product and say “Wiiiii”, not only does it make the name more prominent but it also sounds like you’re really excited about it.

That’s a clever marketing scheme.

10) Saying “I’m great at fixing things” is another way of saying “I break a lot of shit”.

11) My imaginary girlfriend dumped me because I did not pretend to care about her.

12) The “Smoking is injurious to health” sign on cigarette packs hasn’t made much of a difference as far as reducing the number of smokers is concerned. I think the following signs could work slightly better for all the anti-smoking committees out there:

- Smoking significantly reduces chances of successfully running away from a cop after committing a crime.

- Smoking causes excessive use of deodorant which subsequently results in you being more flammable than you really should be.

- (For gay male smokers) Smoking results in people saying “You got a fag on you” and you have to guess if he is asking you for a cigarette, or simply referring to the guy in the pink vest sitting on your lap.

13) Workaholic is to a lazy man, what quantum physics is to a dumb blonde. Incomprehensible.

14) I don’t like treadmills. When you run for an hour and you’re still in the exact same place you started, it’s kind of discouraging.

15) Pan parag is the Indian cop’s equivalent to the American cop’s doughnut.

16) I wanted to get my girlfriend a card that said “I love you”. So I went to the store and chose a card as fast as I could because I was going to meet her in half an hour. I returned home and thought I’d add a sweet message inside the card. That’s when I noticed that the card didn’t just say “I love you”.

It said, “I love you mom”.

Now I really wanted to give her a card, but I didn’t have enough time to go back to the store and get a new one. So I decided to use the “I love you mom” to my advantage and added “…to be” at the end of it.

The card now read, “I love you mom…to be”.

My sex life has taken a major nosedive ever since.

17) The Fair and Handsome ad offer was rejected by 28,000 men in India before someone finally accepted the lead role. Considering India has only 587 handsome men, the final choice was not very handsome.

He was not very fair either.

A WORD IS WORTH A MILLION PIXELS

You have no idea about what is being taught.
I have no idea about what is being taught.
The mindless note-takers (as seen in picture) have no idea about what is being taught.
The man with the pix elated face (as seen in picture) has no idea about what is being taught.
Nobody else (concerned or otherwise) has any idea about what is being taught.

Therefore, the assertion “It is not possible to know the content that was being taught in class while the above picture was taken” should be true. Or, as far as I am concerened, is true.

(Incidentally, the man with the pix elated face is the teacher)

PS:
I love the last benches.
And some 4 months from now, I should, in theory, have a job.
No harm intended, just feeling edgy and sarcastic. It’s for people like these I have to work ridiculously hard during semesters to maintain honest and decent grades.